Valentine’s Day is another one of those days that can make a lot of people feel let down. If you’re single, the day might feel lonely. If you’re in a relationship but the day doesn’t live up to what society portrays that it should look like, you might feel like you’re missing something.
The only thing that I think is missing from Valentine’s Day is the awareness that the greatest love you could ever receive is from your own self. Who knows you better than You? Who knows everything you’ve been through and knows your deepest hurts, desires, and dreams?
You. As in capital You. Your Higher Self. The part of you that is connected to the Divine and has always been with you and always will be.
Whether you’re single or have been married for 50 years, I think Valentine’s Day is one of those days (just like your birthday) where it’s far more fulfilling to love up on yourself FIRST, and anything extra from lovers or friends is just a bonus.
Below is a Valentine’s Day sacred self-care ritual that you can do this Valentine’s Day or any day of the year to connect with, love and heal yourself.
Tools you’ll need
Go simple or go big, it’s totally up to you! Below is what I definitely recommend:
- Rose quartz crystal (you can get them at any metaphysical shop as well)
- A gift for yourself, from yourself
- Bath supplies (salts, candles, essential oil, special soaps, lotions, etc)
- Wine/champagne (optional)
- Oracle/tarot deck (optional)
Prepare your gift
Before your ritual, pick out the perfect gift for yourself. Something you’ve been wanting but have passed over for another time. Pick out beautiful wrapping paper and a gorgeous bow and wrap your gift with care.
Clear your space
Before you begin your ritual, make sure your space feels open and inviting to you. I always do my self-care rituals in my room, so I make sure my bed is made, the floor is picked up, and I make sure the lighting is soft.
Light candles or incense and take a few deep breaths to help bring yourself into the present moment.
Begin your ritual by journaling your current thoughts. Have a conversation with Yourself and really take time to reflect on how you’ve been doing and where you want to go.
- How have you been feeling?
- How have things been going?
- What do I want to manifest into my life?
- What am I ready to heal?
- In what ways can I bring more self-love and care into my life on a consistent basis?
Run yourself a hot bath and fill it with whatever you love most. I recommend adding epsom or pink Himalayan salts to detox your body and energetically clear yourself. Put your rose quartz crystal/s in the bath with you to envelop yourself with the energy of love.
You can add essential oils to your bath by adding a few drops of it in either a cup of whole milk -or- a few tablespoons of olive oil; pour this into your bath water and swirl it around. Jasmine is a beautiful scent and carries a sensual, feminine energy. Set a glass of your favorite champagne or wine next to you on the ledge of your tub.
Place candles around your bath and play your favorite soothing music quietly. I love Peter Gundry’s songs; they’re very mystical, relaxing, and have a special feel to them. If you watch my Insta stories when I share my moon rituals, these are the songs I’m playing in the background.
Let yourself sink into the water and be still. Feel yourself resetting and connecting.
Connect with your body
As women, and I’m sure many men can relate as well, we are disconnected from certain parts of our bodies. If you’ve ever been abused, sexually assaulted, raised in a religion that viewed the body as sinful, or been shamed for your sexuality, you’ve likely disconnected from your sexual organs.
Even if you haven’t experienced the above, women in general are exposed to so much imagery of unrealistic bodies and their sexuality being sold as a commodity, that shame is a common feeling most of us carry.
I think it’s a very powerful thing to begin to heal the relationship you have to certain parts of your body that you have either disconnected from or hold a low view of because you wish the body part looked different. Shame is powerful and can eventually cause illness in our bodies. This happens as a way for your body to alert you and let you know that you need to heal certain beliefs you have about yourself and past experiences that are still hurting you.
Place your hands where it has always hurt your heart to think about, or a place on your body that makes you feel bad about yourself. For me, this is my womb area. I was disconnected from this area after years of conditioned belief that there was something wrong with me, that this area of me was “ruined” and shameful.
With your hands on your body, sending loving energy and thoughts to this area. I say “I’m so sorry I’ve felt sad about you for so long. I’m sorry and I love you.” Repeat the words “I’m sorry” and “I love you” in your mind as many times as it feels good. Feel the energy shift in this area of your body. Place your rose quartz crystal on top of it and send the loving intention into the crystal that you want to begin to heal and love yourself.
When you get out of the bath, put lotion or oil on your body and as you move from each body part, say the words “I love you as you are and I’m sorry” in your mind while sending loving energy to that body part.
Write a love letter to yourself
After your bath, go back to your area and sit down to write a love letter to yourself. Here are some prompts:
- I love you because…
- I want to heal…
- I love the way you….
- I’m so proud that you…
- You’ve shown resilience in the way you’ve…
- I’m so sorry for…
- The ways I want to spend more time with you are…
- You deserve…
- Ways I’m going to show how much I love you…
Keep this letter once you’ve written it, just like you would a letter someone else sends you. Refer back to it frequently.
Self-love oracle/tarot spread
If you pull cards, here is a spread you can use to connect with the Divine and your higher self. My favorite deck is Goddess Guidance. It’s specific enough but leaves room for interpretation. Another new favorite that I’m still getting to know is Wisdom of the Oracle.
- How can I connect with my Higher Self
- Something beautiful about me
- What do I need to heal
- Focus on this to begin the healing process
- Outcome of healing yourself
- Message from the Universe
End your ritual by first opening up the gift you gave yourself and then by laying down and listening to this healing guided meditation for self-love and releasing the past (all of her meditations are beautiful, I highly recommend them).
Allow yourself to be open and receive your own love and the healing energy from the Universe. And maybe make this ritual something you schedule in for yourself throughout the year? <3
I hope you enjoyed this post. What’s one of your favorite ways to love and heal yourself? I as well as other readers would love to know, so please let us know in the comments below.
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Lots of love,