Learning to care for yourself mentally and emotionally is much easier than most expect. It's also fun, fulfilling, and transformational.
In today's blog post, I'll share how to set up a self-care routine that will nourish you mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
The number one question I get about self-care is, "Where do I start?" I think everyone gets into their heads when it comes to self-care, and they believe it needs to be this big production or else it shouldn't be done at all.
Getting started with self-care is actually a very simple process–I'm here to share how I did it and how you can do it, too.
I also created a self-care checklist to help you with this process every week, so feel free to grab that if you think it would help.
Clarity for getting started with self-care
I have an analogy that I often use to help me determine if I've gotten sidetracked in life. If you're standing out on the beach playing in the waves, one of two things usually happens—you're either riding the waves or getting smacked by them.
You're either letting the waves happen to you, or you're making the waves work for you.
If you don't have a self-care or mindset routine that you practice, you're essentially letting the waves smack into the back of your head repeatedly and just trying to roll with the punches.
Heck, you might be just floating around with waves drowning you or tossing you around like a rag doll.
That's how life feels when you're not tending to your mind and soul. Our society is hugely focused on physical health, exercising, eating right, etc., but not so much on the importance of self-care.
Self-care is the key component when it comes to mental and emotional health.
What you need to do before you begin anything is to drag your tired body up onto the shore, lay on your back while the sun warms you up, and get clear on how you're feeling, what's draining your soul, and what you need.
Everyone has different methods for gaining clarity: I need to write my thoughts out, my mom needs to make something with her hands, and my son needs to exert himself physically.
What activity helps you sort out your thoughts? Ask yourself the following questions.
- How am I feeling right now? How have I been feeling?
- Where do I need relief?
- How would I like to begin feeling?
Definition of self-care
Before I go further, I would like to define what self-care means. Society would have you believe that self-care is painting your nails while giggling with some friends or reading a magazine once a month by yourself.
These kinds of self-care articles make me puke a little in my mouth.
Self-care is a deliberate action one takes to commune with their own soul. It's a respite from the outside world, a chance for one to take deep breaths physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
Self-care is loving oneself so that that love can flow into the world around them.
Why is it important to take care of yourself?
Self-care is a crucial aspect of your health. Would you never drink water and expect your body to be okay? We know that our bodies require water; in the same way, we must understand that our emotional and mental health depends on self-care.
Regular self-care helps by giving you a chance to process your life, experiences, and feelings. Without stopping to do this, you become the person caught in the waves, hit over and over again without getting a chance to catch your breath.
Self-care is a powerful tool for managing anxiety, depression, and many other issues that the pharmaceutical companies would have you believe only come in a bottle.
Does a one-time remedy cure something forever? Usually not. That's why self-care needs to be practiced consistently.
Just like working out once a month won't give you abs, self-care sporadically practiced here and there will not reap the benefits of weekly self-care.
That is the very basic reason why self-care is important. Beyond that, self-care becomes a space in your life where you heal yourself of past traumas and hurts, come to know yourself on a deep level, grow your self-confidence and worth, and gain inspiration for living life.
It's so all-encompassing that it's hard to condense it in a few sentences.
Examples of self-care
- Journaling
- EFT tapping
- Reading, especially books that help navigate personal healing and growth
- Creating things
- Physical movement (running, walking, surfing, climbing, hiking, dancing)
- Taking a nap
- Cleaning your living space
- Watching comedy
- Music
- Soothing bath or shower
- Screen-free mornings/evenings
- Candles/essential oils
- Cooking your favorite meal
- Lunch date with yourself
- Meditation
- Social media detox
- Writing a gratitude list
- Petting your dog/cat
- Creating new goals
- Calling someone you love
- Deep breathing
- Cozy clothes
- Low lighting
- A cleared schedule
- A cup of coffee/tea
- Saying NO
- Saying YES
- A stay-cation
- Treating yourself
Gather some self-care tools
What's your thing? If it's writing you love, get a pretty new journal, binder, or special place to write your thoughts. Reading? Get a few books on personal development either from the library or Amazon. Cooking? Get some fresh ingredients and make a meal Ina Garten-style.
Self-care does not need to cost money; it just really helps to know what resonates with you so that you can have that on hand or plan for it.
As I mentioned, journaling helps me tremendously, so I always have a journal nearby. I don't journal daily–it's more of a therapy for me. Most of my entries start with "I'm currently feeling...." and then many emotional and dramatic scribbles!
You can see in my writing that I calm down once I've gotten it all out, and more than just calming down I really do feel that I am provided guidance from my higher self.
When you resonate with an activity, it almost feels like a portal through which you will receive divine guidance from whatever you believe in (higher self/spirit guides/the universe/goddess/god/Source, etc.).
Once you have a few ideas of what self-care tools help you, you can create a self-care basket and keep it anywhere in your home. This has made it all so much easier for me!
Create a small space
You don't need a full-blown self-care or altar space to practice self-care. I surely didn't have one when I first started; my small space just evolved into one. But I do recommend having a special area or drawer to keep your things.
I kept my journal and books in my nightstand drawers when I first started. I realized I loved dim lighting, so I hung up small string lights and kept a candle on my nightstand. It was so simple, but it felt like my little reprieve from the world.
Create a small area for yourself that holds your items and relieves, inspires, or soothes you. It will become a part of your self-care tool kit.
Schedule it
Sometimes, I find myself alone in the house and seize the moment. Most times, though, that doesn't happen, and I have to plan for self-care time.
When I was married, my ex and I worked out a schedule where we took turns putting our kids to bed. So at 6 PM, one of us had the night off to go to the gym or whatever we wanted to do while the other hung out with the kids and put them to bed. As a single parent to older kids, I still find mornings and evenings my favorite times for self-care.
I look for pockets of time. Where are your pockets of time? We all have them; we just have to let go of our idea of self-care and realize that it doesn't have to take long.
Let go of guilt
The whole guilt debate really confuses me because I don't understand why someone should feel guilty for convening with their damn soul, but then I remember when I first started self-care, and I felt so guilty listening to my toddler cry in the other room with his dad.
So, I get it. But the guilt will go away once you realize how much happier and more loving you have become because of self-care. Once I realized how I feel and act without self-care, I no longer felt guilt over taking time for self-care.
We have to encourage each other to take care of ourselves emotionally and mentally. I even argue that mental health is more important than physical health because your mind is where everything starts. Physical health is directly impacted by mental health.
Conclusion
Let it be simple. Drop any expectations you have and just check in with yourself as often as you can remember to. Once you begin, it gets easier and easier, and then you crave it; it's as if this whole world seems to open to you because of it.
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With love,
Jessica
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Thank you! This has seriously been the best post I have read about coping with depression. Honestly the most helpful read and I've read alot of books on coping through depressive eppisodes. You're wonderful ❤ I'm greatful for you and this post. Sending love. ❤
Jessica Dimas
I'm so glad you found the post helpful, sending love back to you <3