Recently the topic of how to start over in life has been coming up in my conversations with others quite frequently. No doubt it’s due to my own life going through a major change in the last year that has this subject at the forefront of my mind.
It all began with a feeling of, “Is it this it…is this my whole life?” Followed by a collapse of what felt like everything around me, including myself. Actually, myself most of all. I went from feeling numb and apathetic to experiencing what felt like every emotion within a day, every day.
It’s been a wild ride–one that I’m still on–but I’ve gained a lot of clarity, gotten very honest with myself, and expanded further my ability to trust and surrender. It’s those times in life when we have no other choice but to let go that can be some of the most powerful, life-changing experiences.
In this article, I’m sharing some things I’ve learned during this time that helped me to get clear within myself in order to start over with a new me and a new way of being in my life.
Why is starting over so hard?
Starting over can feel daunting and overwhelming at first, usually because we aren’t super clear on which direction to go from here. In order to even get to this place of needing or wanting to start over, typically it’s because you’ve been seemingly going off track for a while before that.
A number of life experiences can initiate a starting over point: divorce, job loss, the midlife metamorphosis, the death of a loved one, etcetera.
Each one of these experiences requires us to move through them before we’re able to really clarify how we want to start over, and that we’re even desiring of starting over. I believe you’ve got to walk through the purifying fire of major life events in order to receive the desire and clarity needed to start over.
Fear and grief must be acknowledged and processed before we are truly ready to start over in life. You may know what you want moving forward, but there might be parts of you that fear going there, or that need to grieve and let go of how things have been.
Give yourself space and time to process in order to come upon the clarity you seek. Once you’ve got clarity, let the magic begin.
How do you start a new life?
Once you get to a place of clarity, or at the very least a place of surrender and openness to life, you get to start a whole new adventure. The world is your oyster.
It won’t feel like that at times, but that’s normal and to be expected. Fear and doubt will rear their ugly heads, but you’re going to keep reminding yourself of this one simple truth:
You create your own reality, and it’s now coming together in the most easeful of ways.
You start a new life by creating it–by feeling into what you now desire. In this way, you can even use your fear and contrast to help you clarify what you do want.
Reality creation is so easy it can be hard, but it doesn’t have to be if you can remind yourself often that feeling good moves energy quickly. When energy begins to move and you’re open to life, you get to watch how the universe unfolds a new life before you in the most magical of ways.
1. Get clear
When you’re starting over in life, getting clear is one of the most fun steps because you’re getting to put your order into the universe. I always get out my journal and start writing where I’ve been in order to first get clarity on what I no longer want.
Once I see what I’m no longer wanting to experience, I choose the opposite of that:
Not making enough money? I want X amount each month.
Lonely? I want to be surrounded by love.
Bored? I want a plethora of beautiful, fulfilling experiences.
Dis-eased? I want to be at ease, joy-filled, and at peace while I watch my body heal itself.
What do you want? How do you want to feel? What’s the ideal version of your life if money wasn’t an issue?
2. Write it down
Once you’ve got a picture in your mind or a feeling in your soul of how you’d like your life to be, write it down. I don’t know why this is so extremely powerful, but it is. I’ve always kept a manifestation journal for this very reason.
Even if it’s just once that you write it down, this sets some sort of juju into action energetically. Multiple times I have found myself looking over old journal pages where what I had written down had manifested.
Write. It. Down. Bob Proctor said in The Secret to start out by writing “I am so happy and grateful now that…” and then fill it in with how your dream life looks as if it’s already happened.
3. Visualize it
There’s a man I met in a meditation group who is in his 80s and not spiritual at all. He was a business owner for most of his life and never spent a dime on advertising, and yet had an ever-steady flow of customers. He was diagnosed with cancer twice and self-healed both times.
The one thing he said he’s done all these years is visualizing for thirty minutes a day the way he wants his life to look. He’d picture things like customers coming into his stop, and the cancer cells turning healthy and healing.
When I first learned about the law of attraction, one of the main things I did was visualize at night before falling asleep how I wanted my life to be. I wanted to manifest financial abundance, so I’d imagine how I’d be living if I had it.
I’d see myself walking through stores and getting whatever I wanted, going out to eat, taking tons of beach trips, and being told good news. I’d feel it!
Afterward, I’d just think of ten things I appreciated in my life that day, whether it was a cup of coffee or the air conditioning blowing on me while I fell asleep. I’d feel so grateful at times for these seemingly small things that tears would run down my face.
It took only three months of doing that and my life shifted in a very dramatic way. Visualizing is a game-changer. And even if you can’t picture things in your mind, you can conjure the feeling, because that’s what you’re really after anyway.
Most of us have been conditioned to notice more often the things happening around us that we don’t like, such as the traffic we’re in or the rude comment someone made to us.
Imagine going through your day and only giving your attention to the things you appreciate and love. How cozy your bed feels when you wake up, how good hot coffee tastes, the way the sunlight peeks over the trees at dawn, the sweet morning face your child has with sleepy eyes and pouty lips.
There’s just so much beauty and so many things to admire and adore in this world! Not only will these things light you up, but they will do double duty by igniting the magnetic pull of bringing more good things to you.
Appreciating is just as powerful as visualizing and meditating when it comes to manifesting. Even if you aren’t clear on what you want except that you know you want to feel good…just look for things to appreciate and your life will start over in a whole new way.
5. Open up
When it comes to how to start over in life, we’ve got to slowly but surely open ourselves up. I know it can feel so scary and you feel like a little tightly wrapped up, spiky hedgehog in self-protection mode, but you’re keeping all the good things out when you do this.
Open, surrender, and trust. Let yourself be vulnerable and flow with life. I guarantee you that not only will you get what you want, but you’re going to get it in ways you couldn’t have imagined. It will all be tailored to you, specifically.
I don’t know what this love and magic is in the universe or the whys and hows behind all of it, but I just know that I’ve experienced it. It will all even unfold in a way that supports you years down the line that will blow your mind when you look back on all of it.
It’s hard for all of us, but trusting the universe enough to continually keep opening yourself will allow it to really bless you.
Let jobs and people come and go. Don’t attach to anything or anyone. Keep trusting that if something isn’t in your life anymore, it’s because it wasn’t a match to what you are calling in with your ideal vision.
I’ve always loved the quote, “Hold the vision, trust the process.”
Starting over in life is an opportunity to start from scratch. To be like a Phoenix rising from the ashes of the places you’ve been and the experiences that have shaped you.
We’re always knowing ourselves in deeper and more vast ways, which means it gets even more fulfilling when we decide we’re ready to start over fresh.
You’re never too old, too young, too broke, too behind, too misfortunate, or too screwed up to start over in life. Yes, it’s scary and yes you can’t see the way it’s going to work out…but when you let go and focus on what feels good (how you want things to feel/be), reality will, without a doubt, begin to rearrange itself in order to accommodate you.
Don’t ask me why or how–I don’t know. I’ve only seen that it does. Positive energy is powerful, so when you intentionally radiate positive energy on a daily basis, this is the foundation of all miracles.
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this article and found something to take away with you.
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