I am a huge advocate for real, daily self-care; especially for moms because we give so much to those around us, we need to replenish the well at some point in the day. It doesn’t even have to be at the end of the day, it can be whenever it’s best and most convenient for you to fit it in.
I know a lot of moms say they don’t have the time or they have other things to get done while their children are sleeping, but I have two responses to this kind of thinking. One: everyone has time. Yes you do. Your phase of motherhood may be different, but you can definitely create 10-30 minutes every day where you focus on you.
And two, just like “cobwebs can wait because babies don’t keep”, the cobwebs can wait because mommy’s happiness and health won’t keep if she never deems herself important enough to take care of.
“Rest and self-care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.” – Eleanor Brownn
The best time for me is at night after my kids are in bed, so I’m going to share my nightly routine with you. My goals during this time are to de-stress and re-center. Written out, this all sounds like it probably takes me hours, but it doesn’t. Sometimes I do all of this in 20 minutes or even less. A good night is when I’m able to take at least an hour.
(And if you’d like a more in-depth guide on how I incorporate self-care into my day, as well as guidance for setting up your own, be sure to check out my guide and worksheet bundle Sacred Self-Care for Moms.)
Part One: The Shower
Low lighting – firstly, I find it very soothing and destimulating to have low lighting while I shower. Spending the day with two little kids is usually nonstop loudness, so a silent space with low lighting just helps me de-frazzle and relax! I use something similar to this, it’s actually a wax burner but I find the lighting is perfect for a bathroom. I usually don’t burn any wax but I just turn the light on while showering.
Oil pulling – I do this every night while showering. Oil pulling is swishing oil (I use this coconut oil) around in your mouth for up to 20 minutes. Oil pulling helps break down plaque, is good for gum health, and is a natural teeth whitener. My teeth no longer feel clean unless I’ve oil pulled before brushing them. It was hard to swish for very long at first, and it was also kind of hard to even chew up the coconut oil in my mouth (it’s in more solid form unless it’s placed somewhere warm), but now it’s really easy for me. It’s a great way to detox your mouth and body.
Audio inspiration – I love to listen to something inspiring while showering. It gets me out of my own head and helps me re-center, plus it inspires me! Currently I’ve been on an Esther/Abraham Hicks kick. Esther Hicks “channels” a collective spirit she calls Abraham (very strange to some, I know) and talks a lot about how our thoughts and feelings affect our lives. I think it’s very beneficial to listen to anything that relaxes, inspires, or motivates you. My other favorite is The Mind Your Business Podcast. It’s not just about business, he has a lot of spiritual mindset podcasts as well.
Visualization – If I’ve had a particularly long day, I envision the shower washing away all the stress and mistakes I made. And every night no matter what, I like to take several deep breaths. We forget to really breathe so much of the day. Did you know that we are designed to release 70% of the toxins in our body through breathing? “When you exhale air from your body you release carbon dioxide that has been passed through from your bloodstream into your lungs. Carbon dioxide is a natural waste of your body’s metabolism.” – (source) There are surprisingly so many benefits of deep breathing, like releasing tension, pain, emotional problems, and strengthening your immune system.
Part Two: In Bed
Low lighting – I keep the theme of low lighting going! I just really can’t detest overhead lighting enough. I bought these LED dimmable string lights and these little decorating hooks and hung them up around my bed and then wrapped them around my lamp base, which turned out so pretty! It’s a bit hard to see but here’s some pics:
As you can see in the second pic, I’ve gotten way more creative with my self-care space! That’s the thing I love about self-care routines though, it’s like following this delicious bread crumb trail; you’re always going to be finding something else that deeply resonates with you and that you want to explore…all of it bringing you back closer to yourself!
Journaling/Self-Care worksheet – I think it’s so important to check in with yourself on a daily basis. I love journaling or filling out a self-care worksheet to help me just recenter. I’ve got one specifically for a nighttime self-care routine in the Sacred Self-Care for Moms guide and worksheet bundle, which I love. It looks like this and basically the main components are gratitude, remembering one good thing about each child that happened during the day, any goals you have for the next day, and a quick recentering visualization/meditation.
Reading – I love to read a few pages every night out of an inspirational book. I feel like books that help us grow are so beneficial and to me they’re like air, but reading books of any kind have proven benefits of relaxation. A few really good books I’ve recently read are Wishes Fulfilled | You Can Heal Your Life | and Infinite Possibilities .
Meditation – I am OBSESSED with guided meditations! Oh my lord do they ever relax and re-center me. I most often use this one by Vishen Lakhiani. It’s 21 minutes long and a lot of times I fall asleep before it’s over, but it’s the BEST guided meditation. It goes over everything we should go over in our minds every single day; connection with all that is, gratitude, forgiveness, creative visualization, intention for the next day, and asking for a blessing from the Universe/God/your higher self/whoever or whatever you believe in.
I recently found these amazing mediations for moms by The Parenting Junkie, and wow are they powerful. There is one for trusting your child, one for a hard parenting day (very therapeutic) and even one for visiting your own childhood (extremely therapeutic).
So that’s my nightly “mommy” routine that relaxes and re-centers me like nothing else can. If you have a nightly routine, what are you favorite parts about it? What really helps you de-stress and let go at the end of the day? If you’re not getting this time at least once a day, I really encourage you to start. You will not believe the world of difference it will make. And most importantly of all, you deserve it. Mothers can’t give their best if they aren’t giving to themselves first.
You can also check out my morning self-care routine here. Also, if you’d like to follow along with me for my morning self-care routine, you can find me over on Instagram. Every morning I share my routine via Instagram story!
Jessica Dimas is the author of Sacred Self-Care for Moms Guide + Worksheet Bundle. Connect with her on Facebook and Instagram for more inspiration and updates.