A consistent night routine is a game-changer. Most people are on auto-pilot, with technology and other people filling their minds and space until they crash into bed.
When you understand the power of the mind, you begin realizing how potent and important a night time routine can be for your quality of life. In today's blog post, I'm sharing my nightly self-care routine that has transformed my life.
I'm a mom of two young kids so I'm not someone who has hours to kill every day. I can do this routine easily and it makes such a powerful impact on my mood and emotional well-being.
I know a lot of moms and busy people say they don't have the time or they have other things to get done while their children are sleeping, but I have two responses to this kind of thinking.
One: everyone has time. Yes you do. Your phase of motherhood may be different, but you can definitely create 10-30 minutes every day where you focus on you.
And two, just like "cobwebs can wait because babies don't keep", the cobwebs can wait because mommy's happiness and health won't keep if she never deems herself important enough to take care of.
Rest and self-care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel. - Eleanor Brownn
What should be my night routine?
Whatever makes you feel rebalanced, realigned, and centered. You should pick and choose from night routine ideas and never try to implement anything that you don't enjoy doing.
This is key because if you don't enjoy doing it, you're not going to want to do it! And the whole point of a night routine is to take stress off your plate, not add more to it.
Do the things that soothe your spirit. Also, don't feel like you have to do 10 things for your nightly routine. Some nights my low lit shower is the best and only thing I need to recenter. Other nights, I may feel the need to empty my mind by journaling for a few minutes. Follow your urges and needs.
What is the best night routine?
The one that works for YOU. The one that you look forward to doing. Again I repeat: do not do anything you don't enjoy.
Too many people try to exactly follow someone else's way of doing things and then wonder why they can't keep to it. Because it was never you in the first place.
Pick from other's ideas like fruit on a tree. Take what resonates and leave what doesn't. This way, you'll create a night routine that reflects who you are as a person, where you are in life, and what you specifically need.
My night routine for self-care
The best time for my night routine is after my kids are in bed. My goals during this time are to de-stress and re-center.
Written out, this all sounds like it probably takes me hours, but it doesn't. Sometimes I do all of this in 20 minutes or even less.
Part one is my how I utilize my shower time and part two is what I do before bed.
Part I: The Shower
1. Low lighting
First off, I find it very soothing to have low lighting while I shower. Spending the day with two kids is usually nonstop loudness, so a silent space with low lighting just helps me de-frazzle and relax.
I simply use a wax burner minus the wax, but I find the lighting is perfect for a bathroom.
I've also added these LED string lights around the windows of my bathroom for added low-lighting.
Every night, my shower alone is enough to help me reset. With the low lighting I'm able to instantly feel like the world is being kept at bay while I just take time to breathe.
2. Audio inspiration
I love to listen to something that resets my mind while showering. This is so powerful because we're in our heads all day, and a shower can be a place where a lot of people get even further into their thoughts and worries. Putting on something that shifts your perspective back into place is priceless.
Currently I've been on an Esther/Abraham Hicks kick. And by currently I mean the last six years.
Esther Hicks "channels" a collective spirit she calls Abraham (very strange to some, I know) but her talks are AMAZING. For any issue or problem you're having in life, simply type in "Abraham Hicks" on YouTube and follow with the topic you want to hear about. She brings me out of my head like no one else.
I also like to listen to mindset or spiritual podcast episodes or an audio book. I think it's very beneficial to listen to anything that relaxes, re-aligns, or motivates you.
3. Visualization & Deep Breaths
I chatted with a hypnotherapist the other day and she was telling me how powerful it is to add intention to your everyday routine habits. For instance in the shower, you can picture the water washing away your stresses, or imagine as you put on your lotion that you're creating a positive barrier that will keep draining people and situations at bay.
This is very stimulating for the creative mind and since your thoughts are energy waves, it's extremely powerful in manifesting more ease and inner peace into your life.
I personally love to envision the shower washing away all the stress and any mistakes I made. And every night no matter what, I like to take several deep breaths.
We forget to really breathe so much of the day. Did you know that we are designed to release 70% of the toxins in our body through breathing?
When you exhale air from your body you release carbon dioxide that has been passed through from your bloodstream into your lungs. Carbon dioxide is a natural waste of your body's metabolism. - (source)
There are surprisingly so many benefits of deep breathing, like releasing tension, pain, emotional problems, and strengthening your immune system.
Just stand in your shower and take several deep breaths. Work your way up to breathing in 7 seconds and breathing out 7 seconds, all through your nose.
Part Two: In Bed
1. Low lighting
I keep the theme of low lighting going since I really can't detest overhead lighting enough. I hung up LED lights around my bed to give a softer glow to my room.
It's a bit hard to see but here's some pics:
As you can see in the second pic, I've gotten way more creative with my self-care space. If you want to know how to create a sacred space for yourself, check out this post here.
That's the thing I love about self-care routines though–it's like following this delicious bread crumb trail; you're always going to be finding something else that deeply resonates with you and that you want to explore.
And all of it brings you back closer to yourself.
2. Self-care worksheet
Self-care worksheets honestly are the bread and butter of my self-care. I just find them so transformative because they're quick but powerful.
I keep a "self-care binder" near my bed and I will usually fill out either the self-care for moms Daily Recap worksheet or the Nightly Re-centering worksheet, which is more mindset based.
You know when you're pulling into a carwash and your tires have to align with the conveyer belt? That's what a self-care worksheet does–you simply and easily re-align with yourself.
A self-care worksheet is also the highlight of my morning self-care routine as well.
3. Reading
Reading before bed is one of my mindset hacks. When you're in bed getting a little drowsy, you're dropping down into theta brainwaves. This means your subconscious mind is very receptive to receiving information.
I will usually only read a few pages, but it's enough to recenter my perspective before falling asleep.
These are the current books on my tablet. Most of them I'm re-reading. I highlight powerful passages and then before I go to sleep, I'll re-read over the passages instead of reading the whole book.
I wrote a post on my favorite daily books for self-care and also my all-time favorite books on the law of attraction.
4. Meditation
Lastly (but not always), I often fall asleep to a guided meditation. You can find a list of my favorite guided meditations here.
I mostly use the one by Vishen Lakhiani. It's 21 minutes long and a lot of times I fall asleep before it's over, but it's definitely my favorite guided meditation. I've also been getting into some hypnotherapy meditations recently, and there's a lot of great options on YouTube.
So to recap my nightly routine:
- Wind down with low lighting
- Make the most of your shower or bath; listen to something inspiring, take deep breaths, visualize the day washing away with the water
- Create a sacred, relaxing feel around your bed; hang lights or use a salt lamp
- Reflect with a self-care worksheet
- Read a few pages from an inspiring book to shift your mindset and mood
- End the day with a guided meditation
I hope you enjoyed this post! What are you favorite things to incorporate into your nightly self-care routine? I'd love to know in the comments below. I've also linked some other posts you might find helpful:
If you'd like real-life self-care inspiration, connect with me on Instagram where I share my daily self-care routine and rituals on Insta stories.
And If you'd like self-care tips in your inbox every Sunday afternoon, sign up for the Dwell in Magic weekly newsletter.
Lots of love,
Jessica
Jessica Dimas is the creator of Manifesting Magic with the Moon, a holistic self-care ritual bundle.
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Chelsea @ Life With My Littles
Love this! I am big on showers right when my kids go to bed because it helps me relax and sort of wash away the day, you know? We are moving in May and I am planning on making our bedroom a lot more relaxing and simple. Right now we have a desk and a junky, cluttered bookshelf right next to our bed, and nobody can relax with those things in the way!
Vicky
Lovely read, thank you =)
Siena Says
I enjoyed reading this and has come at just the right time!
I never make time for myself properly and I feel my body and my mental health are suffering because of it!
Some great tips!
Jessica Dimas
Definitely start making that Siena, you will notice a huge difference in all areas of your health once you start taking time for YOU! xo
Elizabeth
I love this and is one article I will not only pin, but will actually implement tonight!! I will change things according to my personal preference, but these ideas are phenomenal! Thank you so much for sharing!!
Jessica Dimas
I'm glad you enjoyed the article Elizabeth! It makes such a difference for me when I follow a self-care routine every night, I hope it does the same for you xo
yaya
Thanks for sharing. I am excited to learn about this guided meditation. Will be listening to the video you shared and reading more about it
Jessica Dimas
I use it every night, it's just the most perfect one I've found! Hope you enjoy it xo
Lizzie mann
Really good article thank you! Has inspired me! Don't think there can be too much emphasis but on the importance and taking time for yourself xx
Jessica Dimas
Totally agree Lizzie! xo
Jessica
Fantastic! Thank you for sharing. I'm always on the lookout for a new guided meditation and book recomendations and you have both! So happy I stumbled across your lovley site!
Jessica Dimas
Happy to share, and also happy you stumbled across my site 🙂 Welcome!
Jessica Dimas
Awesome! So glad you could find what you were looking for 🙂
Felicia
I may not be a mom, but I really enjoyed this article! I am currently working on structuring my night routine and you have some great tips for me to consider!
Jessica Dimas
Awesome, so glad you enjoyed it!
Jessica A Cleveland
Awesome post! I found you through Pinetrest. For some reason my browser would shut down every time I tried to click on this article on my device. I just felt like I really wanted to read it and so I pulled it up on the computer. It's amazing! Everything that you listed in your nightly routine, the showers with low lights, Abraham Hicks, The 6 Phase Meditation is what I use and love too! My husband gets home right around my kids bedtime and loves for me to stay up with him (usually watching TV) because we are apart so much. Sometimes it's past midnight when I go to bed and I don't get to do this because I'm soooo tired. How to do you suggest balancing personal care with caring for/spending time with my children AND my husband? This has been a great reminder to get back to what I know works for me. Thank you!
Jessica Dimas
Oh my gosh that is so crazy that we both have such a similar self-care routine, down to Abraham Hicks!!! That's hard, and I actually just wrote a new guide called Sacred Self-Care for the Highly Sensitive Mom and this was one of the issues I addressed. In your case, I would suggest taking your shower after you put the kids to bed, so you have that time for yourself, watch tv with him and then listen to the guided meditation before you go to sleep. It's hard when you have conflicting schedules like that. I did start telling my husband that I couldn't hang out with him every night, so there are nights where he does his thing and I do mine. Otherwise I wouldn't get much quality self-care time and I neeeeeed it.
Jessi Munn
I love this idea! I'm currently developing my evening routine. For now, I've included a "screen off" time followed by drinking water or tea while reading a book. I'm single and self-employed so I have other routines throughout my day but this helps me check into myself and wind down.
Jessica Dimas
Ah that sounds divine!! I love the screen off time, that is so helpful in fully relaxing and checking into yourself like you said.
Courtney
Wow , wonderful time for me to run across this blog post ! Right now I've been constantly looking and looking at all the things on Pinterest to help me relax because lately I've been very stressed and feeling like I'm not able to do anything right . Im the type of person who makes sure everyone is happy and will do anything and everything for them first , I never put myself first ..... Im a wife, and mommy to a wonderful son named Bently , and with everything going on in my life which hasn't been the best years recently , just stressed and exhausted and feeling like I'm not doing anything right that the hubby wants and then Im trying my hardest to figure out this blogging stuff because i think it would really help me out a lot ! Ive always wanted to start one but never had the courage to and now that my son is 3 , which he loves youtube (crazy to think a 3 year old can figure a phone out) but he is always wanting to do blogs like the other kids so I've really wanted to start my own blog but its been difficult with all the chaos of trying to be a good mom and wife , and then also taking care of my grandpa that has cancer too ..
I could right a book lol but I am so excited and really interested in looking into your stuff more and I'm actually going to go try and do the things you did which will probably be awesome but still waiting for the little one to fall asleep. which who has been going none stop from 6 am until now... lol but I'm so glad to run across your stuff you right about because i really think i should start and always wanted to do stuff for myself but never made the time.
Jessica Dimas
I totally hear you Courtney! I was there too, I think it's super super common for moms since we're just kind of swept up into motherhood from the day we have the first baby and we have to put ourselves on the back burner. Discovering the law of attraction was a game-changer for me and even helped improve my marriage, and then creating a self-care routine just took everything to a whole other level. I still lose my marbles some days and sometimes I go several days without self-care time, but overall I am just so much more relaxed, happier, more calm, etc. And blogging is so fun, you should totally do it 🙂 Blogging has been the one thing that is "mine" since becoming a stay-at-home mom. So glad you stumbled across my blog and this article, much love and luck to you, I hope you're able to start making the time for you because you definitely deserve it <3
Karen Grosz
Your evening routine is awesome. Mine is similar. The one thing I must do is read even a couple of pages, but the rest gets done most nights. Makes for a more restful night. I will be pinning.
Mihaela Echols
Just reading this is relaxing. I love the lights around your lamp. We also use a little LED lamp and slowly prepare ourselves for bed.
Jessica Dimas
I looove those lights, aren't they so relaxing and pretty? Soft lighting makes such a difference in helping us to unwind and de-stimulate.
Rebeccafaith Dietz
Super into guided meditation! Cant wait to explore the peaceful parenting ones!
Jessica Dimas
That one is so good! It made me ugly cry the first time I listened to it, very healing!
Ali
Great post! I can't wait to check out that guided meditation tonight before sleep! I am ALL about the guided meditations too 🙂
Jessica Dimas
Yesss, it's SO good! I hope you loved it as much as I do!
Patty
Thank you Jessica!
I can't wait to try this!!
Stephanie-Ann Coco Palermo
Lovely read! I've been meaning to try oil-pulling for a while...this was exactly the kick I needed 😉 Keep up the great posts!
Steph xo
Jessica Dimas
Thank you Stephanie-Ann! Yeah oil-pulling is amazing, your teeth will never have felt so clean 🙂 Thank you for your comment! xo
Sienna G.G
Thank you so much for this post. I was relaxed just reading it, so I'm looking forward to following up with trying this routine (as I've often fallen off the oil pulling attempts train because I can never find a time that I can focus on it). Not sure if you've heard of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)? I tend to be a nervous by nature type Mama and I think that adding in a EFT component, before bed, would be the only extra element I would add to my routine 🙂 Much Love
Jessica Dimas
It's so weird that you mentioned EFT in your comment because I've heard about it many times, I started to semi-research it...forgot about it...my husband reminded me about it the other day because he listened to a podcast on it, and then I read your comment about it! I was just telling my husband that I think it would help me so much when I feel anxiety coming on. So you start oil pulling during your showers and I'm going to go watch some videos on EFT and add it into my daily routine 🙂 Thank you for your comment, I enjoyed reading it! xo
Shannon Keene
Where can I find the printables you use? They look like they'd be great to help get prioritized! Thanks!
Jessica Dimas
Hi Shannon! All of my printables can be found here: https://jessicadimas.com/sacredshop/
All of them have a morning worksheet, and Anything Can Be also has an evening worksheet.
Edye
So glad I found your blog! Thanks so much for sharing these insightful tips.
Jessica Dimas
Thank you Edye, I'm glad you found my blog too! Thank you for your comment! xo
Mary
Hi. I have been trying my hardest to implement a night routine. I enjoy light yoga/stretching and deep breathing. I also like to listen to binaural beats. I find it difficult to stick to the ritural and spend time with my husband. He usually wants to watch t.v. together. I'd rather do my night routine and not watch t.v. or be on devices for 1 hour to 30 minutes before I go to sleep. I really enjoy guided meditation, my favorite is Chel Hamilton on Podcast. Her voice is soothing. Thank you for the great suggestions for books to read and some new guided meditations to listen to.
Jessica Dimas
I loved reading what you do for your routine, Mary. Yes, I have had the same issue before with my husband too. It's hard. Sometimes I'll tell him I'm going to do my "self-care stuff" and that I'll be back out to watch tv with him. I haven't heard of that podcast, I'm definitely going to check it out! Thanks for leaving a comment, I enjoyed reading it xo
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Emily Aagaard
Great post! I'm not a mum but I always love updating my night routine to make sure it's full of as much self care as possible. You've shared some great tips here, thank you!
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Jessica Moore
Thank you, Jessica, for sharing this. I love it! It is a great reminder of what I do have time for and that I need to make myself a priority! Love and light to you.
chelle
When you listen to the guided mediation do you use headphones or does your partner listen to as you both fall asleep?
Jessica Dimas
I use headphones!