Recently, I’ve been almost tortured with a decision that has been weighing on my heart for the last several months. I didn’t start to really recognize how much I had been debating myself in my mind until recently, and I undoubtedly have been feeling the desperate pangs of just wanting to know my answer.
Here has been my inner dialogue with myself:
What do I want to do “professionally”? I can’t just be an author…that’s not enough, is it? I should be something more. Maybe I should open a coaching business like I’ve seen so many of my favorite people do. But I don’t really like talking to people I don’t know, that’s going to suck. I don’t even really have a knack for thinking of questions or solutions on the spot. People love my writing. Maybe I’ll just be a writer. But I should be more than just a writer…”
That was on a replay loop for the last 6 months. Truly torturous. And for the most part, I didn’t create anything awesome in that time. I started things here and there but kept stalling out because I wasn’t really asking or listening to my heart for the answer.
I even made the mistake of asking others. Sometimes, others can help provide a perspective that can help give us some clarity, especially if this person knows us well and has a healthy mindset themselves. What I mean by healthy mindset is someone who sees the world in a positive light and dreams big themselves. They don’t have limiting beliefs about what is possible and they aren’t afraid of you shining your own light brightly.
When I asked a few of those around me, their answers didn’t please me. They made me feel worse, actually. The reason for this is because no one knows what’s right for me except for me. No one sees the world exactly through the same lens as I do. No one has exactly the same priorities or beliefs as I do. Therefore, no one can give me my answer.
No one can give you your answer.
This is great because it eliminates the need for us to wander around tortured and harassing our friends and family members for answers that they can’t give us anyway. You will never be fully satisfied with an answer until it comes from your soul. When it does, it feels 100% right and like a weight has been lifted off your chest. You will feel the rightness in the answer when it comes from your higher self.
How can we find the answers we’re yearning to know from ourselves? Here are a few tips that have helped me.
Meditation helps your mind relax and let go of all the thoughts that are going on in there. It doesn’t feel good to have a mind that is constantly plagued with thoughts and worries. Meditate daily to turn off the noise and connect with your higher self. This is my favorite guided meditation to do every night.
You don’t have to be a writer to journal, because the purpose of journaling is to receive the answers from inside yourself. I like to start out with a question, and then remain open to what flows from my pen. You may find it helpful to meditate before journaling so that you’re in a higher vibration when you begin to journal, this way you’re more aligned with your higher self and will hear the answers more clearly.
3. Set an intention
Setting intentions is really a great way of receiving what you’re asking for. In this case, set an intention that you would like clarity around your question. Before you go to sleep set an intention in your mind, out loud, or written down that you intend to receive an answer, clarity, or a sign for which way you should go. It’s most beneficial to stay relaxed and faithful that you will be given the answer. You can try this manifesting technique to help you let go and trust. Write your intention on a small piece of paper and put it inside of a special box with the intention that you are going to let your higher self/the Universe/God take care of it.
4. Ask yourself these 3 questions
I got this strategy from Lindsay over at Soul Rising. She said that when we have a tough decision we’re faced with, ask your three inner voices: logic, intuition, and fear.
- Is it logical?
- Do I feel guided to do this?
- Is it safe?
She says your answers should be yes, yes, and hell no. It should feel logical, you should have a inner longing or passion for it, and it should feel scary because you’ll be stretching yourself, putting yourself out there and doing something you’ve never done before.
When I asked myself “should I be a coach and have a business that includes launches and sales funnels and phone calls with clients…my answers were yes, no, and yes. Logically it could make a lot of sense; coaches help people and make great money doing it. It wasn’t something super scary, but more of a dreadful feeling when I thought of it. But I can’t say I felt guided to it beyond seeing others do it and thinking that I should too.
5. Follow your bliss
If an answer still feels somewhat indiscernible, the best way to go about it in this moment is to follow what feels good. Follow what excites you, knowing that the answer may change in the future. What lights me up right now is writing, so I’m going to write. It doesn’t mean I may never do coaching, but it’s not where I am right now. If we don’t move towards what makes us the happiest, we stay stuck and frozen in our tracks. Move towards your bliss. You will never go wrong if you do that.
Jessica Dimas is the author of Anything Can Be: A Reference Guide for Applying the Law of Attraction. Connect with her on Facebook and Instagram for more inspiration and updates.