If there’s one topic in Law of Attraction Land that I have a hard time with, it’s this one. Not because I don’t believe that I’m attracting the negativity, but because it feels so much better to just say the other person is being a douche wad.
So this article is about relationships, negativity from others within relationships, and just any kind of behavior we may find ourselves not appreciating in others – all with the perspective coming from an understanding of the law of attraction. If you don’t know much about the law of attraction, you can read my 101 post here.
The law of attraction + relationships
With the understanding that the law of attraction is like attracts like, that goes to reason that all of our experiences have made their way into our vibration whether we consciously manifested it or not.
When you are experiencing turmoil with another person…and don’t throw your shoe at me…you’re attracting it.
Likely subconsciously, sometimes consciously.
Look at the common negative theme in your relationships or even with acquaintances; how do they make you feel? For me, when I think about issues I have with others in my life and how they piss me off, it’s usually always narrowed down to them making me feel unworthy and not important.
Other people are your mirror
Others reflect back to us how we feel about ourselves on a deep level. I have always felt not good enough, and therefore I tend to attract circumstances and situations with others that make me feel that way.
If you look at it in this way, it’s actually a blessing in disguise because it alerts you to issues you need to work out within yourself.
Sometimes the irritations are minor and not super deep, like when I’m just in a pissy mood and I attract asshole drivers on the road or snarky comments, etc. Those are also signs that I’m not vibing so great!
And that’s okay, I’m not here to say we should all be feeling happy 24/7 and if someone is an asshole to us that we deserved it cause we should’ve been in a better mood; I’m just saying it’s all feedback we can use to our advantage when we’re ready to do so.
Or have you ever thought about how you always attract the same type of partner or friend? For me, I’ve always tended to attract people who talk about themselves a lot but aren’t as interested in listening to anything about me. And that goes back to my deep-rooted feelings of being unworthy and not important.
How to attract what you want from people
I have three main go-to’s that I like to do when I’m having issues with someone. None of them are very easy at first, especially if this person is making your blood boil on a consistent basis, but as you do the exercises, you’ll feel yourself soften and start to let go.
- Spiritually convene with the other person – when you’re really upset with someone, this is a good exercise to start with. All you do is close your eyes and visualize your higher self meeting with their higher self. I say higher self because even if this person would never see their wrongs here in this lifetime, their higher self is pure love and would never intentionally hurt you. Imagine yourself telling them how much they hurt you and then imagine them apologizing for their actions. Usually I interpret them letting me know it wasn’t intentional and that they are in the process of learning many lessons here themselves, just like I am. I then envision hugging that person.
- Work on YOURSELF – get away from all the noise and get some quality self-care time. Consistent self-care is best. I like to journal everything I’m feeling. Get it all out. And then start to focus on the deeper feelings…what is this person bringing up for you? Is there a pattern anywhere that you can see? Whatever it is, the good news is that what it all comes down to is that we need to love ourselves in order to let others love us. Start spending more time with yourself. Be intentional with your time and activities. Do things that refuel you rather than drain you. Give to yourself as much as you can what you are looking for in others.
- Think of things you love about this person – this exercise will at first seem really stupid and pointless, but it’s actually pretty hard and can be very transformational. I got it from Abraham Hicks! You have to think of 10 things you’re grateful for about this person, 10 good things about them. The first 3-4 things will be super hard to come up with! You’re angry with them and only thinking of how much they’ve wronged you, but by your 5th thing, you’ll feel yourself start to soften towards this person. This exercise pulls you off the ground and up into a bird’s eye view of the situation. A bigger picture perspective. By the 10th positive thing you can name about them, if it’s a romantic relationship, you might even feel like going and giving them a kiss! This is a GREAT exercise to try.
How others will react to your new vibe
We all have different aspects about us, both good and bad. Everyone has a good side if they’re not extremely pinched off from all that is good and holy, so when you get your vibration up, you will begin attracting the better sides of the people in your life.
That goes without saying, if a person is not ready to be at that level of vibration, they will naturally fade from your life because the law of attraction won’t let you the two of you cross paths if your vibrations are completely different. And if they insist on staying in a low vibration most of their waking hours, they won’t be showing up in yours very often, if at all.
I did the exercises above regarding a friend in my life who was draining me. I spiritually convened with her, stayed consistent with my self-care time, and did the third exercise. I even got excited because I saw her in a new light! I was able to overlook and forgive her petty actions that drained me so much. But I never got a chance to enjoy her in that way because she completely fell out of my life.
I was hurt by this for awhile. It was like she dumped me, right when I had shifted my perspective about her. But that’s WHY. She wasn’t in the same vibration that I was and I truly believe she faded from my life quickly after I did the inner work because she wasn’t able to reflect the way I saw her.
When a person can’t match what you’re putting out there, the law of attraction won’t let the two of you tango.
With that being said, most people will not disappear out of your life. Most often your relationship will improve as a result of doing the exercises above, especially if this is a person who is a key player in your life. Friends may or may not disappear, parents and partners will likely start exhibiting different behaviors around you.
What did you think of this information? Do you agree, disagree? Have any questions? Let me know in the comments!
Jessica Dimas is the author of Anything Can Be: A Reference Guide for Applying the Law of Attraction. Connect with her on Facebook and Instagram for more inspiration and updates.